New pet peeves, with explanations

1) PEOPLE WHO TAP ON FURNITURE WHENEVER THEY WALK PAST IT. Rat-a-tat. OK, so you can grow fingernails. I get it. I can understand folks feeling the need to do so every once in a while, but if you walk past the same desk or counter day in, day out, sometimes multiple times a day, and still insist on tapping...?? Therapists out there, please help me out. Is this some sort of narcissistic thing where you feel you have to announce your presence whenever you walk by? an anal-sanguine disorder of some kind? (If you tap really loudly on that metal file cabinet by my desk, you will startle me.)

2) BRINGING YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK WITH YOU. I can understand if you couldn't find a baby sitter, or if the child is ill. If the kid were to sit quietly and entertain themselves while their parent is working, it is no distraction, no problem at all. (Some of my coolest childhood memories were when my sister and I used to go to work with my hairstylist mom and read or play hangman under the dryers in the beauty salon.) But when the kid is still an infant and crying very loudly while coworkers are oohing and aahing, and those of us innocent bystanders from 50 feet away are trying to work, it can get very annoying. (Especially if the kid is like 14 and decides to practice his drum rhythms on a nearby desk.)

3) PEOPLE WHO EAVESDROP ON CONVERSATIONS, AND INVITE THEMSELVES TO JOIN IN, FROM 50 FEET ACROSS THE ROOM. Self-explanatory.

4) HIGHWAY DRIVERS SITUATED IN THE LEFT LANE, GOING 1 MPH BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT, REFUSING TO SPEED UP. I think public officers would say this could be dangerous. Especially if you're stuck behind the vehicle with a semi on your right and 40 cars behind you. Note: I'm not sure if this is necessarily a problem in large metropolitan areas.

5) ASKING SOMEBODY WHAT THEY'RE READING. I am probably sitting quietly by myself because I want to be by myself. If you don't see me put my book away when you walk into the room, I would prefer to not engage in a conversation at this time.

6) PEOPLE WHO TALK AND TALK AND TALK WITHOUT LETTING YOU GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE. Also self-explanatory. I usually try to head for the nearest exit.

7) PEOPLE WHO TALK TOO LOUDLY. When combined with number 6 above, it can be lethal for your eardrums. Perhaps you grew up on a farm, but you're in the city now. They've invented electronic devices that will let you project your voice to hundreds of people at a time, with minimal voice strain. But I am standing right here.

8) THAT BEARDED OXYCLEAN GUY ON TV. This sort of goes along with number 7. Hey, if I buy just one of your toilet bowl cleaners, would you please stop yelling at me?!??

9) OVER-CRITICISM. I realize that God gave you a brain, and that He gave you the ability to develop opinions. But must you over-develop them, and share them at the drop of a hat as if they were the law? Can you please just say something nice -- about anybody??

10) OVER-LISTICISM. This occurs when one creates list after list about just about every... oh, crap. Perhaps I should stop. Uh, thanks for reading and, um, goodbye for now. :o)