DALLAS: Excuse me, pardon me, coming through. Oooooh, waaaait a mmmminute... It's a wrrrreck... Let's gawwwwwk... OK, gawking over. Where's the accelerator? Excuse me, pardon me.
FORT WORTH: I AM CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT TO SEE HOW FAST MY CAR CAN GO, SO MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!!
ARLINGTON: What? I wasn't tailgating you. I was only 2 inches away from your rear bumper.
IRVING: WAKE UP, SLEEPING BEAUTY! THAT LIGHT HAS BEEN GREEN FOR .005 SECONDS ALREADY, SO I WILL SIT ON MY HORN UNTIL YOU MOVE YOUR BUTT!!!
LUBBOCK: Why do they keep putting up these speed limit signs? Driving should be an expression of the soul.
ODESSA: The red light means that you have either 5 seconds to cross the intersection or until cars start coming from the other direction -- whichever comes first. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my appointment at the bar. Unfortunately, I can't drive too fast to get there, because if I go 4 MPH over the speed limit, a cop will appear out of nowhere and give me a ticket. Although, I'm not quite sure where the cop goes AFTER the bar closes...
WACO: Please observe that I-35 has 3 lanes to accommodate various traveling speeds: 60 MPH on the far right, 70 in the middle, and 80 on the far left. By the way -- can anyone explain to me what a "traffic jam" is? I've heard of this phenomenon, but I don't believe I've ever witnessed one myself. Is it anything like waiting in line to get into the stadium on Valley Mills to see a Baylor game?
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1 comment:
So very true! Just for future reference, the description of Lubbock drivers fits Austin as well. The only difference is that you can't see them coming because of the hills!
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