New pet peeves

As I get older, I learn how important it is for me to know myself. :) Especially when getting along with other people and drawing healthy boundaries, it's important to know which buttons shouldn't be pressed, right? During one stage of my life, I unearthed a whole batch of pet peeves (dated 8/22/06, which you're welcome to read on this blog that I share here with Debbie). Now some new ones have surfaced.

1. Terms of address. In Texas, it's common to refer to a stranger as "Sir" or Ma'am," traditionally out of respect for elders, but really I think it's more out just of respect for other people, especially strangers. I normally call cashiers at the grocery store "Sir" or "Ma'am," even though they're about half my age. (Shucks, even my own mother sometimes calls me "Ma'am.") On the other side of the coin, if you've barely met me, PLEASE DON'T CALL ME "SWEETIE!!" Just because I probably look younger than you, and you haven't figured out how to pronounce my name yet, that does NOT give you the right to call me a term of endearment! (One man who was handing out bulletins at church even called me "Darlin'" once. AAAGH!!!) "Ma'am" or "Miss" would do just fine. Besides -- how do you know how sweet I am or ain't until you get to know me? :">

2. Marital status discrimination. Yes, according to one discrimination training I attended at a previous job, this one does exist! No wonder it felt wrong for older people at another job to give me crappy hours just because I was young and didn't have a family to hurry home to. (Mainly it bothers me outside the workplace, though.) Can you please not take me for granted just because I haven't found Mr. Right yet? My time is just as important as anyone else's; I'm just not responsible for managing it with a husband and family yet.

3. Not replying to my emails/messages. If you email or write me, and I reply back, I've done my part in the communication, right? And I understand that life gets busy. A friend of mine and I email back and forth, literally about every 3 or 4 months, but it's consistent; we've faithfully kept in touch since college. But if I send you an email or phone message, and then I wait a few months for you to reply, and then I run into you and you're like, "Hey! I haven't heard from you in a while!" and this is the trend in our friendship, I'll probably be like, "Uh, the ball's in your court, babe." I mean, how hard is it to hit the Reply button, type something briefly, and hit Send? Just sayin'. :)

4. Maturity: listening skills. Part of growing up means learning that life doesn't revolve around you. (Or that it shouldn't, anyway.) So, when you're carrying on a conversation with someone, it's important to listen, i.e., mentally compute and store, what they say. Remember it for later. Match it with one of your experiences. When I am sharing a dream or my heart with you, can you please at least make some kind of effort to remember it? Or at least part of it? I spilled my guts to people years ago about crushes I've had or dreams I've pursued, and months or years later, I'll have to repeat the whole thing. I know you've probably slept since then, and I've done the same thing, but after a while, it gets old. In a lighter example, one friend of mine keeps asking me where I work, and I've told her half a dozen times. And usually when I answer, I catch myself sighing frustratedly and making myself not explode. AAAGH!!!

5. Maturity: opinion vs. fact. This is America, where you're free to enjoy a variety of almost everything. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not everyone is going to have the same taste. For example, if I listen to someone tell me how much they love New Kids on the Block, and if I politely hold my tongue because I think NKOTB is one of the most pointless bands of all time, and I have awkward childhood memories of not liking the same music that every other kid in America did back then, can you please not make gagging noises when I tell you how much I love The Carpenters or ABBA? They're an acquired taste, really (yes, like bacon mints...long story). But just because you think one band or form of entertainment is the greatest in the whole world, doesn't mean it is. It just is to YOU. And I can respect that. :) Thank you for the music.