Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage . . . They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
~Psalm 84:5

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Overdue Comment

As I was browsing through the Amiculus archives, one of Debbie's entries from August caught my eye. I would like to elaborate, if I may. One of the things that Debbie "hates" is being single when most of your friends are already married, and it isn't quite the same when you try to hang out with them. I must concur -- this is one of my pet peeves as well. Not to slam married people -- you folks have a wise perspective on life that I do not have!

I think living in Waco spoiled me, in a good sense, in that I was constantly surrounded by my single peers, aged 24 and up. (Thank you, Baylor and The Timeline.) There is nothing horrible about being "old" and still single. Ultimately, to pass from singlehood to marriage, we must be dependent on God, our Divine Matchmaker. (And, not to mention, on a member of the opposite gender enthusiastically volunteering to be your other half.) It is society that has placed a stigma on singlehood.

Some societies more than others. I was far from prepared to encounter this stigma when I moved to Odessa last year. None of the churches that I've visited here even HAVE a singles ministry! (Except for one, which lumps ages 18-29 into one category. Uhhh, let's see, 18-year-old college freshman who wants to conquer the world; 29-year-old college graduate who's had the world trample all over her and just wants her mommy... yyyyyeah, real similar.) Technically, I'm not sure many pastors in this area have even seen a need for singles ministries, since most Odessans either marry or co-habitate by age 22. I wondered how the population kept renewing itself out here in the middle of nowhere... The freak Odessa residents who fail to find lifetime counterparts are casually tossed into the refuse pile of humankind.

I, for one, am weary of being considered a freak. SINGLES OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!


Sorry, I distracted myself. Where was I? I guess what I'm trying to say, Debbie, is that I think I know what you mean, Dude. I believe it's a matter of waiting for the Divine Matchmaker to do His work, if He chooses to do so, and not being afraid of wanting your mommy when it's appropriate... Especially during those times when your hormones are racing so hard that it's all you can to do to keep from puking estrogen all over yourself...

LITERARY NOTE: Flannery O'Connor's "A Good Man Is Hard to Find" is NOT a manual for single women.

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